I have had teens ask me, "What should I do if one of my friends is using or getting into trouble with drugs and I want to stop them?" 

This can be a challenging situation. A person who drinks too much, or is trying out marijuana, cocaine, meth, or even heroine  cannot be forced to get help except under certain circumstances, such as when a violent incident results in police being called or following a medical emergency.  God forbid there is someone hurt over drunk driving or an overdose, but I've seen these happen.

This doesn't mean, however, that you have to wait for a crisis to make an impact. Based on clinical experience, many  treatment specialists recommend the following steps to help a person accept treatment:

Stop all "rescue missions." Friends often try to protect their friend from getting into trouble with their parents or in school by making excuses to others about his or her problems. 

It is important to stop all such rescue attempts immediately, so that the person  will fully experience the harmful effects of his or her drug use or drinking -- and thereby become more motivated to stop.

Time your intervention. Plan to talk with your friend  shortly after a problem has occurred--for example, a serious family argument in which drinking played a part or an alcohol-related accident. Make sure to choose a time when he or she is sober, when both of you are in a calm frame of mind, and when you can speak privately.

Be specific. Tell the friend that you are concerned about his or her drug problem or drinking and want to be supportive in getting help.

Back up your concern with examples of the ways in which his or her drinking has caused problems for both of you, including the most recent incident.

State the consequences. Tell the friend that until he or she gets help, you will call the parents, --not to punish the drinker, but to protect them  from the harmful effects of the drugs and drinking.
 
You may eventually need to call 911 on your friend if you see they are not able to drive and they get in the car anyway after using.  (Try to keep their keys and call a cab first).

Eventually you may see that you have done all you can and it is up to the friend to accept help or not. 

If the choice is "Not right now", then tell them you are still their friend, but you can't be around them  as long as they choose to use.  

Do not make any threats you are not prepared to carry out.

Be ready to help. Gather information in advance about local treatment options. See our "RESOURCES" page.  If the person is willing to seek help, call immediately for an appointment with an Intake counselor. Offer to go with the friend on the first visit to a program and/or AA meeting.

Find strength in numbers. With the help of a professional therapist, some people join with  relatives and friends to gently confront an a person as a group. While this approach may be effective, it should only be attempted under the guidance of a therapist (called an interventionist)who is experienced in this kind of group intervention.

Get support. Whether or not the friend seeks help, you may benefit from the encouragement and support of other people in your situation.

Stay Away from them until they are sober.  If the friend is trying to get you to use drugs or alcohol and you don't want to anymore or never try, honor your own self-worth and say no.  Get support and stay away from this friend. 

Support groups offered in most communities include Al-Anon, which holds regular meetings for spouses and other significant people in an alcoholic's life, and Alateen, for children of alcoholics. These groups help people understand that they are not responsible for an alcoholic's drinking and that they need to take steps to take care of themselves, regardless of whether their friend chooses to get help.

Julie Olson, PhD